Read, Write, Love, Repeat

My view of life is SO. VERY. LIMITED.  Since our upcoming move is looming ever-so-large in my brain at all times, waking or sleeping, of course I have done what any rational  (controlling, overly organized, Type A) woman would do: I stalk houses on Zillow.  I have invested (sounds so much better than frittered away) hours in researching the area we want to end up and looking at homes that fit our budget, my “no stairs ever again” requirement, space needs, and general taste.  I have often thought in the past weeks that I found THE house, superlative and fabulous in every way, only to see someone else buy it.  *sigh*

BUT while I have had my “house crush” of the week, I’ve been convinced that it is absolutely perfect and that it would be what would make me so very happy.  And I began to ask God to please-please-please make it work out for that to be my shiny new (to us) Texas home.  And then I stopped myself.  Because I’m reminded that I really can’t tell everything about my house crush from the small 2 dimensional thumbnail pictures that I ogle on Zillow.  I could see how it looks when beautifully staged for sale, but I couldn’t see the cracks in the foundation, or the neighbors, or the ridiculous traffic at a dead stop outside the door of this little gem because of the 47 million elementary students being dropped off and picked up every stinkin’ day. Okay, I’m sure Texas schools aren’t that crowded.

My point is that I see a tiny 2 dimensional designer staged snapshot, not the 360 degree view of what life in that house would be like.  But God sees it.  And the house I think is perfect may not be at all what He has in mind because of that 360 degree perspective He has and I woefully lack.  I am still learning this whole trust thing.  But I know He sees the bigger picture.  He sees the home with the neighbors we need to love on, the home near the church that will be the best possible place for us, the home with a commute to DFW that will make my husband’s life easier, not harder, the home perfectly positioned between Target, Trader Joes and Starbucks.

As I am laughing at myself for my shortsightedness it occurs to me that this is bigger than just trusting God to lead us to the right home (which He’s already done 3 times before, by the way).  This is all of life.  I may want something so desperately, so fervently based on my tiny 2 dimensional thumbnail view of the situation, and I totally forget my Father’s 360 degree perspective.  I may think this is the perfect job, relationship, life change, book deal, car, whatever, but I can’t see the downside.  He wants the best for us, not just what we think is good.  Because, limited humans that we are, we can’t see all the situations, the issues, the challenges that go along with our glossy little idea of what perfect-for-us is.  So we learn to trust our loving Father in all things, all situations, that He will give us what is good.  Because He is good.

So, yes, I continued to stalk homes on Zillow.  With an open hand and open mind.  And I trust He has that perfect place just waiting.